LOVE'S BETRAYAL
by Goddess of the Orient
Summary: This story begins after New Year's 2009 Three months prior & three months after Bill Compton betrayed Sookie after she was staked  by his Maker Lorena Krasziki. This story is based upon character's that were that were written by Charlaine Harris.


**SOOKIE RISES**

**by Camp**

"Sookie" he shook her briskly. "You must rise. Now it's the third night. You have been above ground for hours."

Sookie stirred, coughing up dirt, opened her eyes and was momentarily blinded. She thought for a moment Eric had taken her to a football stadium. She lay still and got her bearings. No, the space she was in was not enclosed and there had been only one light, so it was probably the moon. What the hell's the matter with my eyes, she thought, since when does the moon look brighter than the sun?

Eric cleared his throat, crouching down he lifted her into a sitting position. The sooner she knew of her new life the better, the sooner for her to hate him he thought.

"Sookie open your eyes." "It's too bright," Sookie murmured.

"You will adjust. I assure you" Eric said. She opened them and this time it was different. Still bright, but like she was wearing sunglasses.

"What have you done, Eric?"

There was a long moment, a moment that went on forever, until Eric fell to one knee, "Sookie you were dying, and I did what was necessary, for you to live."

A strange keening started and at first it seemed to come from the very air itself, like the sound of sorrow itself, then he realized it came from her, and his ancient dead heart broke for her. "Sookie this will pass, I swear it."

The sound increased. Now that she was vampire the volume and intensity she was capable of was immense.

Eric gently brushed the dirt from around her eyes, then maneuvered her rigid form till she lay next to him. He began to hum an old lullaby from his childhood, one he had not thought of in over 900 years, and as he hummed, the memories that he had ruthlessly tried to kill and indeed had been mostly successful at, came back.

**FLASHBACK**

"**Eric, come here lillan." His grandmother's long silver braid swayed as she needed the dough, her old hands tough and worn.**

"**That's women's work," Eric said scornfully, coming closer as he said it.**

"**Oh you think so huh? And what will you do when there are no women, hmmm? How will you live?"**

"**No women, there will always be women," Eric said.**

"**Eric, even if you are right and you are never without a woman, it is good to know many things." She strode over to him and snatched his chin. "Never think that anything that needs to be done is beneath you. Now come and I will show you."**

**They worked for an hour, in the cold northern sun coming in through the crude window. His **_**mormor**_** lived for two years after that before she drowned Winter swimming. It had shocked everyone. She had been a strong swimmer - had won many races. They had found her the day she died. They were different about Death then and Eric was almost a man then. His father brought him to see her body before they burned her. This was not traditional for them to burn a woman, most women were simply buried in muslin with little ceremony, but Eric's grandmother had been a warrior and had been much respected.**

He had been made to lean down and kiss her; he hadn't wanted to kiss her mouth so he kissed her forehead, how strange that skin had felt against his lips, he fought the urge to run so that he would not have to smell it on the wind. He was almost a man now - he would disgrace his father. So he straightened and at his father's urging lit the pyre. This one they had not burned on water as was common, the water had frozen in the day they had honored her, so on his father's land it was done. As he watched her burn he had thought, someday this will be me, lying there with flames for a face, I will die. He had left halfway through when the stench had begun to reside, pretending he had to piss and made his way to the hollow tree that he had found years ago. He had stopped coming here after awhile, just needing it less and less, but then he had longed for its strange creaking quiet. He crouched down, for although the tree was tall in size the opening was short and small, and there just inside were little things he had brought over the years. Special powers rocks (he used to believe that certain rocks grant special powers, that the gods left them there for him) and the little goddess that he had crudely carved, that he had been proud of until his cousin Stellen had called him a kvinna (a woman) –"Only kvinna make girl dolls." He had protested that she was not just a girl but a goddess, but to Stellan it made no difference. So here the goddess had sat. He stayed at the tree for awhile and thought random thoughts and grim thoughts, she was gone and before he would even know he would be too. Of course he had witnessed death. His father had killed a slave in front of him when he was very young. It had hardly touched him compared to this, this had been someone he loved and secretly admired. All the others who had died around him had been a part of the scenery, talking trees felled by an indifferent wind. Eric came back to his life now when Sookie's shaking roused him, he felt bad that he had drifted when his friend was in need. He gathered her up taking off his leather coat covering her. He kissed her forehead and it was cold and damp, slightly pink from the blood sweat - this was unfortunate. He had feared she would not handle it well, but he had not anticipated her going into shock, in fact until now he'd been unaware that a vampire _could_ do that. With a heave of his legs they burst into the sky, soon they were in Sookie's yard. He smelled no humans, her irritating roommate must be gone he thought. With vamp speed he went to the door, opened it and came against a solid wall. He didn't understand Sookie had invited him in recently, then realization hit. Sookie was no longer human, her invitation was null and void now and neither he nor Sookie could enter unless the roommate invited them. Sookie's body was softening as if she could sense her beloved home and he knew that they would have to leave quickly before/or if she woke and realized that she could not enter. So with another heave they were air-borne. She now seemed to be resting and this was a comfort to Eric. He flew as fast as he could and when the wind hit his eyes he prayed to Odin, which had been his God in his time, the Christian God had been alien to him. "Odin let this woman in my arms, recover her strength." Then they were at his condo. They went in the way that he always did - through the balcony. He laid her on his bed, which was a scenario he had gone through in his fantasies but which now had for the moment, no passion. He covered her with the extra down blanket he kept for Pam when she slept over. He went into the living room and simply sat, "_Sookie should be awake right now, it is night yet she slumbers, she should be feasting on a breather, learning, not sleeping…. She will awaken tomorrow and all will be well," _he told himself firmly. He sat on the couch and then moved into a chair next to the bed and looked her over. She was dirty and her long hair would need to be brushed, but really lovely, her skin shone like the inside of seashell and though he had only seen her new eyes for a moment they had been an electric version of her normal gray-blue. It was amazing that he had made this woman whom he had never even had sex with and really hadn't known all that long, into his child. He held her hand. He wanted to hold her but he didn't know how. It had been centuries since he had held someone for a non-sexual reason. When he had made Pam, there had been none of this, she had risen and they fed within the hour. But then Pam had known that she was going to be vampire and had agreed to it Eric thought. "_Her precious tan, she will miss that. So will I," he thought. _He lay down next to her holding her hands. She has exquisite hands he thought. And in a little while he died for the day, while they rocked in their strange dreams. Their golden heads touched and there was the tiniest spark in the windowless room, just a fraction of a lit match - not enough to rouse them. Sookie's body softened and she began to heal. The next night he rose, he had slept in his clothes so he didn't need to get dressed but he changed his flip-flops for running shoes. He tried not to look at Sookie, he was afraid she would be unchanged. He padded out of the room looked in the fridge for some of that vile stuff that the mainstreamers love. It was barren except for soy sauce - he had an uncommon love for its saltiness. He wasn't looking for himself but for Sookie. He never drank it but he thought that it was too soon for her to go the donor route, willing or not. When he returned the bedroom was empty and there were clumps of dry dirt trailing from the bed into the bathroom. He heard his electric toothbrush, and smiled. Soon the sound stopped replaced by the sound of the shower. "_How can she think of getting clean when she is still so new? She must be starving by now, and yet she cares more for her teeth? You are a curious creature Miss Stackhouse."_ He went in living room, sat down and turned on the Discovery channel; he liked learning things (even though at 1000 years old he knew a lot this channel surprised even him). And anyway he thought it would relax Sookie to have something so human going on. He heard the door open behind him, and through her having his blood he felt her rage. She went over to the fridge saw the True Bloods, she tore one out and Eric half expected her to throw it at him. Instead she popped it in the microwave, took it out and shook it a little all with the air of routine, until she got to the part where she had to actually drink it. She took a little sip, gagged, then another, the second going down easier. "This stuff tastes fucking awful," Sookie growled. "Yes it does indeed, I never drink it. I didn't think you would be up to a live dinner, _YET._ "I hope I never am. I'm trying real hard not to break one of your bar stools and put a stake as deep in your chest as I can. I've got a feeling I could bury it a hell of a lot deeper than before YOU MADE ME A MONSTER. I didn't want to die of course but it still would have been better than this," and for this her voice was soft over the sound of the blood going down the drain. There was a long moment where neither spoke. "Why, Eric? Why couldn't you just let me go, or feed me enough blood to heal me but keep me human?" "That was not an option I'm afraid, your injuries were too severe. Sookie, you had a bullet in your brain, and one in your heart. My blood had to become your blood, there was no other choice." "There was a choice, one that I'm sure you've sent a heck of a lot humans to too." "Yes, that's true I have, in this case I chose differently," Eric said. "You still haven't answered my question. Why did you make me?" Silence… "I don't know." "Come, we have to go shopping." He said and rose from his perch. Sookie had turned from the sink and had the most incredulous expression that he almost laughed. "You have got to be kidding me!" "No, I am quite serious. You need clothing, and that special strawberry shampoo that you use." "Eric I am _not_ going to be living with you, and I don't need clothes or my strawberry shampoo, because I have all of that at my house. You know that place where I live?" "We are not going there right now. My presence is required at my club. You will accompany me, and you can't go in there looking like a Hollywood Zombie. Even if you think _I'm_ a ghoul, there is no reason _you _should look like one. Sookie looked down at herself and huffed. Well, her dress was torn on one side and the hem was frayed, even clean she did look rough. "Fine," she said. Eric turned and allowed himself a small smile. He was pleased that she was recovering so well, he had been worried. They arrived at Nordstorm the normal way - in a car. The ride over was done in silence - Eric's thoughtful, Sookie's angry. He hoped she stayed angry rather than sad. Anger was healthy; sadness was not. Sookie was not a short woman so he walked them right past the petite section. He was familiar with this store, he regretted that this was the nicest place to get clothing near his base of operations, but their clothes were adequate. Pam loved when they came out with their spring collection, sometimes he came with her. His eye was drawn to red dress paired with a strange black jacket, it was short with a large upturned collar. The shoes by the mannequin's feet were simple black ballet flats, which he thought would help soften the look. "Sookie, do you like this?" She turned to look. "Well it's not something I would pick for myself, but it's ok I guess." "Fine, we'll get it. Do you like jeans? I've never seen you in any." "There is a lot you haven't seen me in Eric. You barely know me," she said. "True. Well?" "Yeah I like jeans, I don't get to wear em as much as I like they're not allowed at Merlotte's and since I'm always working…." She trailed off. "I'm not even sure I own a pair, but a pair of Levi's is NOT going to fix everything Eric!" "I am aware of that Sookie and I am aware you are angry, but you can be angry with a good appearance can't you?" "Hmm," was all Sookie returned with. Eric gathered the little red dress and jacket after finding her size he knew without asking that she was a size four, too thin but now it was too late to fatten her up. He regretted that he had not retained a personal shopper when they entered the store. He despised carrying things. "You know what? All I need from you is the dress, cause all the clothes I need are at my house _where I live."_ "Well I can't say I'm surprised that you're being difficult on the topic of where you will live. I expected that it would take time for you to adjust. I will be patient." "Adjust?" Sookie threw her hands out and inadvertadley knocked expensive sunglasses all over the place. They distracted her for a minute and then she got exasperated and said, "You know what Eric? I guess since you made me a blood sucking evil fiend, I don't have to pick these up. Do I?" When he started to smile and tell her no, she stopped him with a hand holding sunglasses and said, "Yeah you'd like that wouldn't you? If I didn't pick these sunglasses up, it would mean I was coming around to the whole evil thing. But guess what? That ain't ever gonna happen. My Gran raised me better than that! Now come on and help me, or are you too good for that?" He smirked and used his vampire speed to pick them all up and return them. They returned to walking, and for a moment, Eric wished she would put her arm through his. It was a strange wish and it made him ache - he did not like it. Sookie could feel Eric through the bond. He was a wild mixture of emotion, worry, happiness, apprehension, and affection, then she realized with a jolt that their bond was completely different now. He was not just scary, sexy Eric anymore he was her Maker. This rocked her inside but she kept her face neutral. She would think about that later. Eric bought the dress jacket and shoes, but she refused to let him get her jeans. Eric resolved to get her a pair soon. He knew her size after all, and would know what looked good on her. It was raining when they came out. They had to walk through the people smoking outside and Eric had a pang when he remembered fondly his decades of smoking. He had given it up only because it lent his body and clothing a low rent air he didn't care for. Sookie for her part, covered her nose until they were past. Sookie rested her head against the rain covered glass. She huffed on the glass and made a picture of the sun in the fog, erased it, huffed again and drew the moon. Eric saw her. "It will get easier Sookie, I swear. I would not have turned you if I didn't know that you had the makings of a vampire. There is ruthlessness and brutality in you enough for you to survive this. And I think you are practical enough to admit that even a dead life is better than no life at all. You would be just beyond rigor-mortis at this point, and unless you were already embalmed you would be softening with rot, not driving home from Nordstorm". "I know that Eric. The truth doesn't always set you free or feel like a relief no matter how much you want it too," she said bitterly. "Yes, but the truth is necessary nonetheless," he said. "You will not always like what is, but you must always deal with what is. That is the way of survival." When they got back to the condo Sookie went into the bathroom to change. With bated breath (which is quite a feat since he doesn't breathe), Eric waited. When she came out she had yet to turn out the light and it set her golden hair afire. The dress was perfect. It fit snugly but flared in the skirt, ending just above her knees. The jacket was pure perfection the large collar framing her stunning face. The black of it made her eyes seem to glow with a blue fire. Sookie resisted the urge to twirl. It was such a habit when a man looked at a girl like that, that she almost couldn't help herself. "You look superb," he said quietly. He gave into temptation and held out his arm to her hoping she would put her arm through his. She ignored it. When they got to Fangtasia Pam as requested, was sitting in his throne chair in his stead. She rose and her body tensed as Sookie came closer. "Why Eric," she asked in Swedish. "She was dying," he answered in English. "And?" "We will discuss this later, now is not the time." Pam turned and went to her usual booth, grabbing a Fang Banger as she went. On slow nights Eric allowed her to feed in the club instead of taking them elsewhere. "So, which of these pathetic blood bags would you like to feed from? And now the more provocative question, male or female?" He of course knew that she would say no. For now but he was in a playful mood. "Eric that is disgusting I will not feed from _anyone. _ I am not like that. That's not my nature!" "I'm afraid that is very much your nature Miss Stackhouse and in due time you will realize this." "I will not," she said. "Will so," he smirked back. A husky girl with a bad dye job approached after giving Sookie an envious look. She thought, _"I would give anything to be a vampire, lucky bitch, god look at her skin, I could put a pound of the greatest makeup in the world on and mine wouldn't look that clear. Wow he is so hot…I wonder if she will mind if I offer myself to him. Is it like that with Vamps?" _ And just like that, Sookie realized that she still had her gift. She had had it this whole time she realized, but because she had always had it, she hadn't given it a thought - neither had Eric apparently. Not only did she still have it, but it seemed to be stronger than before, bits and pieces of the husky girl's life were flooding her. The girl's name was Sarah and her mom was calling her into the living room to show her the new clothes she had got her. They were two sizes too small as usual. Her mom thought buying her clothes too small would motivate her too lose weight. She used to do that once a month and Sara had dreaded it. A whole other set of memories would have started but Sookie stopped and raised her shields. Sara padded over, stopping just short of Eric and Eric to his surprise didn't kick her. That's what he usually did to the homely ones. "Yes?" Eric raised his eyes to give her a scornful look. "Master, will you feed from me?" she asked. "You do not have the privilege of calling me that Breather, and no, I will not. BE GONE." Sara hunched her shoulders and thought of ice cream and her pajamas, and knew in her heart she was still that fat lonely little girl. Next to Eric Sookie sighed. "What is it Sookie?" "That girl's thoughts are so sad." Eric looked thunderstruck. "What? You are telling me that you can still read minds?" "You didn't think I'd still be able to do that did you?" "No it did not even occur to me but then I have never heard of a Telepath being turned." Sookie lowered her shield and felt something funny in her head like a cold heat and then: _"I have always been Eric's only child, Sookie was tolerable I suppose when she was just a Breather. I didn't have to see her that much, and now this. What the hell was he thinking?"_ Sookie took a deep breath and shuddered. Through their bond Eric felt Sookie's panic. He took her hand and walked her into his office. "What are we doing in here," she asked. "I felt something going on with you, I wished for privacy. He led her to the couch. "Explain, Sookie." "I can't. I'm afraid." "Of me?" he asked. "Yes," she whispered. "Sookie you have no need to fear me. I am your Maker and I am duty bound to protect you and to see to your welfare." _I wish to be more to you of course, but all in due time he thought._ "Now stop being foolish and Tell me." Eric leaned back while he ran his hand through his hair. Sookie stared at Eric and leaned forward and put her hand on his leg. His eyes widened. She concentrated and heard nothing. Eric knew why she had touched him. He had seen that strange touching that she did when she read minds. "So that is what has you so upset, and with good reason. IF other Vampires should learn that you are able to read their minds, you would not last long. At some point you may wish to make this gift known - sometime long in your future when your place in our world is secure. Until then we must remain quiet on this subject." "How intriguing, you were an unusual human. It should not surprise me that you are unusual as a Vampire." I have heard of Vamps that have telepathic relationships with their children but not outright telepathy." "So you're not going to kill me?" Sookie had been turned away from him and now she looked at him. "Of course not Sookie, you are far too valuable to kill. And as I am your Maker it would be odd and I would miss you, maybe a little." He allowed himself a little smile. "Which Vampire did you hear out there?" "Pam," she said. "She must never know of this. Not now, anyway." Eric said. "What was she thinking?" "About how she doesn't want to see me all the time," she replied. "And she doesn't know what the hell you were thinking turning me." "Interesting, but inconsequential. Pam will accept in time. She does not have to like it but she knows I am the law."

"Why did you turn me Eric? Why not just let me die?"

"I am not certain why I did and I am not used to explaining myself."

They sat for a moment and still Eric's mind was silent to her. As if he had read _her_ mind he asked " Can you hear me?"

"No she said, not a whisper."

"Hmm, that _is_ convenient." How fortunate that she can't hear, me he thought.

"Well, shall we," he asked as he rose. She nodded and they made their way back into the bar.

Chapter 2

"It smells in here, Sookie remarked with her nose crinkled.

"Really and what does it smell like?" he asked with amusement.

"Like dirty stuff" if she had still been human she would have blushed.

"What kind of Dirty stuff" Eric asked with a smirk.

"Sex, it smells like a damn orgy out here and let me just say that some of your "fan club" so need a shower."

Eric laughed and then looked surprised. "I would agree with that assessment" he said. Sookie looked down at her shoes she actually liked them they made her feel delicate, which is not something she was used to feeling, she's always been strong and healthy. For a second an image flashed in her mind of seeing Eric carry these same shoes at Nordstorm's and in a tiny way she was touched and amused.

Eric would usually be getting really bored at this point in the night, but having Sookie there made it more interesting. As if she had heard his thought "Don't you get bored with all this" she asked gesturing to the bar and down at the throne.

"Yes, I do indeed. Sometimes I bring my laptop in, so I can take care of my holdings AND sit here like a sexy fossil" Sookie laughed and then it was her turn to look surprised. "So that's all your doing on there, huh? Taking care of your holdings? Yeah right Eric" she snorted.

Eric smirked and said "I may have been known to do some recreational activates from time to time" I enjoy crosswords and as I am quite old, I know a great many things, I have won many online tournaments from this very throne."

"You do crossword" she asked with an incredulous look.

"Yes, and I enjoy them, I enjoy anything that I excel in, and as I excel in so many things, my interests are many"

"Conceited Much" she almost laughed again but stopped herself.

"I believe you humans always say I'm not conceited just convinced."

"Whatever" and with that Sookie turned back to the dingy bar. "You know Eric I've wanted to tell you for a long time now this place really needs to be remodeled." "Yes it could stand to have some things done with it I suppose, but really what does it matter, the vermin will come to look upon me even if this bar was a filthy ally. It is sufficient that I have painted the walls red, as they seem to associate red with Vamps and that I have made all the vampires that frequent this bar dress as if we all listen to Bacchus and black is the only color clothes we wear, which as you have seen from Pam that is not the reality."

Sookie sat for a moment and thought and then said quietly "Eric, it's not about them she said waving to the crowd, it's about how you're perceived, do you want everything one thinking you can't afford a nicer bar?"

"I had not considered that before, I had assumed that because of who I am….

"Anyway, can I still drink, you know like alcohol?"

"You can't drink it per-say but there are some of our kind that like to inject the alcohol of their choice" I have tried it once back in the fifties, it was an experience unlike any I had felt. Obviously not one that I relished."

Sookie was silent for a moment and then " Do you guys inject anything else?"

"Yes, we do, many things in fact, anything that humans enjoy intravenously, we can also enjoy. The Buzz is more intense I am told than what humans experience but shorter in duration. Oh and Sookie you are going to have to get used to being one of "those guys" he actually raised his arms to make the silly quote marks in the air" he didn't finish the thought with what he was thinking he had stopped himself before he said "You are no longer, human".

"No thanks to you" Sookie spat at him. Eric motioned Ginger over. "Yes Master?" Bring Sookie a True Blood, he didn't know what kind she would prefer but he was willing to go through them all until he found the right one. But truly he would prefer she fed from the source. The way these "Mainstreamers" lived was true and final death to him, anyway, it pained him that Sookie might never feed from a human, it was a joy he lived for.

"Aye, Aye Master" Ginger said with a clumsy pathetic bow, he loathed her and all her kind but they were useful he had to concede.

"So is there anything you do like in my dingy hovel?"

"I like a few of the paintings here, that woman over there with black all around her, who is she?"

"That is a vampire queen I knew centuries ago, I respected her, and before her death she gifted me with her portrait."

"So were you two, you know…?"

"Sadly no, she was enamored of a minor human Baron, who she later turned, to unhappy results." "Was she really that beautiful?" "Indeed, she was far more beautiful than that shoddy picture." "Her face by candlelight, was hard to experience, it was pure bliss."

"Wow, were you in love with her? It sure sounds like you were."

"I don't know the meaning of that overused word. I respected her and had some affection for her, but love….."That is beyond me. On the day she began having that portrait done, she had pricked her finger on a rose I gave her, that is the day I first tasted her". They were silent for a moment. "What do vampires taste like?"

"We taste dull, the vitality is drained. When humans taste our blood, it does strange things, makes them see unbelievable things, makes them feel strong, invincible, but of course they aren't they are still the weak fragile things they have always been. But when we taste each other it is like feeding from the dead, no spark, no life, nothing but a void, it is most unpleasant."

"That's weird that your blood that is crazy to us is so dull to you"

"Yes it is odd isn't it, oh and it's your blood now too."

"I know but it's hard to be one thing all your days and another thing altogether overnight, but you will adjust."

"Uhmmf, well we'll see she said.

"I hope you don't think I am doing this every night, this is _not_ what I have in mind for eternity."

" Well we'll see he returned with a smirk.

"But rest assured that neither you nor I will be doing this for eternity."

" How long have you been doing this?"

"Not long, since the Great Revel." Before, I owned this bar, but it was not what it is now."

"You mean a place for "mortal's to adore you?"

"Yes, that is what I mean, they did not know of our existence and my presence was not required, not publicly anyway." "You must hate this now, huh?"

Eric thought for a moment " It is different and change is difficult regardless of whether you handle change as well as I do or not, everything that I had been became a product, it was disconcerting…. "

"Uhh, so you were authentic but now you're generic?"

Eric's fangs came out and he leaned forward, "Make no mistake Miss Stackhouse nothing about me is generic and nothing EVER will be. He settled back and said " I have made adjustments in keeping with the times, that is all."

Sookie nodded, "Gotcha, okie dokey , my mistake." She managed to keep from snorting this time.

They were quiet for a spell, Sookie let down her shields out of sheer boredom.

"Who the fuck is she?" Sookie located the woman having that thought, she was a skinny girl with short black and hair and a nose ring. " I never seen her here before, is she his girlfriend?" Well she must be new, cause I ain't never seen _her_ here before, and I been coming here for awhile now…" Sookie tuned her out and focused on a young man with startling green eyes, he was eyeing her in a strange way. " Wow, she looks just like my girlfriend from high school, why the hell did I break up with her again?" His black hair fell in his eyes as he took a drag. Eric allowed both humans and vampires to smoke here, it made them comfortable (the humans anyway, and when humans are comfortable they spend more.)

He despised the smell, but it was nothing he couldn't overlook, and at times he took a deep (totally unnecessary breath, and remembered simpler times.

The young man bent down and retrieved a knife from his boot and wandered up to Sookie. He slashed himself on the wrist and offered his blood to her. Sookie stared in shock, "What the hell are you doing ?" she asked. "I offer myself to you, he said as his suddenly delicious smelling blood fell to the floor.

"I will _SO not drink your blood, Sookie sputtered. _

"I haven't fucked around if that's what you're thinking, I get pussy but I ain't no whore.

"It doesn't matter to me if you've been good or not, I'm not filling stockings, I don't do that is all.

The young man went to grab a chair to to be more comfortable until Eric shook his head making it clear his continued presence was not desired. "But you're a vampire aren't you?"

"It does seem that way Andrew, that was the name she had picked from his mind, "but I am not like _them _, she raised her head and her chin pointed to the big scary vamp to her left. "So you're mainstreaming?" He asked.  
"I guess you could say that, she replied. Andrew bowed his head and wished he had a cigarette to smash out. He walked away, and Sookie sighed and Eric said "Welcome to my world Sookie", Eric said.

"We have given enough of our time to these blood bags, let's leave."

"Well I _have_ had enough of all this, gesturing to the multitude.

"Are we taking the car back or do we have to do more of that flying shit?"

"No we will take the Corvette home." He rose and took her hand.

Back home they were greeted by stale air and loneliness that was uncomfortable to Sookie. She went over to the window nearest her and opened it wide. " Gawd Eric I know you are dead and all but a little fresh air wouldn't kill ya would it?" He took a deep breath and said, "I forget about that _fresh air_ concept, for many years much of my air has been canned. I suppose there is something to be said for it."

"Well, there sure is Sookie said in exasperation. "That's what good living is all about, smelling things and being a part of them."

"I am apart of nothing, but involved with many things I suppose.."

"Well then that is sad, she said.

"Sadness is a fleeting emotion and not one I wish to dwell on, he said.

"It is for dreamers and those who can't face what they are." He said, while he spoke he and unconscious breathed in her strawberry scent, he liked that smell, he had first smelled that when he bought a strawberry plantation in Illinois, a dull state and one in which once he had bought land, and had rarely returned to. It had made him much money until the area had become a "dust-bowel. And then he had not seen any profit, the strawberries that grew were small and stubborn, he made little that year, or the years that followed. There was little sun, and what did come through had to fight the fierce dust storms that went on seemingly, forever . "Why do you have such a strange expression on your face, Sookie asked.

I am remembering, I once owned a farm with nothing but strawberries, for as far as even _as far as my eyes can see…. It made _me a few 100 dollars then it died with the wind. It produced more of course but when the dust came it withered.

"Well I'm sure you had other ventures, she said.

Indeed I did, I enjoyed visiting that one, however.

"I need to sleep, Sookie, this is new to me."

"Having a new child?" "Yes, he replied. "I have not had another "child" since Pam and Pam is nothing like you." And Pam's "Birth" was nothing like yours ." Sleep Sookie he whispered as he laid her head upon the pillow.

Chapter 3

The next night, Sookie rose and out of sleepiness and habit went to the bathroom. She sat on the toilet and waited, and then remembered, all of it. There was no need for this thing she was sitting on, anymore, hell Eric should just put fish in this thing or flowers she thought. She washed her face, her skin felt hard but soft. Her complexion hadn't been this clear since she was a baby, she shrugged so what she thought, I'm still a soulless ghoul.

She came out and turned the light off, cause you know electricity wasn't free. Eric was sitting on the couch, his face lit by a laptop. "Oh, hello Sookie, he muttered without looking up. "This has been a real fun sleepover and all Eric, but I really do need to be getting back to my life, you know my Job and my house?"

Eric was at least paying attention now, he closed the screen. He was quiet for so long Sookie wondered if he was alright. "Sookie, I had hoped you would come to understand this on your own… "Understand WHAT Eric?"

"This, is….. Your life now. "What the fuck are you talking about, Eric?" He was looking at the upholstery brushing imaginary lint from it, "Eric!"

"Sookie you are a new Vampire, I am duty bound as your Maker to see to your needs." "So what you can, damn well see to em from a distance." She snapped.

"By law, you must reside with me for a period of a year." "You can return to your job of course, although why you would wish to return to that hovel is beyond me…. He trailed off and looked almost sad. Then he heard a smashing sound, coming from the bathroom. He had recently had the bathroom extended for a whirlpool tub but it had yet to be installed, Sookie had found the sledgehammer and it had found the toilet. "Sookie, that is an innocent toilet. Well, I don't fucking need this anymore do I, roommate, you made sure of that didn't ya?" "Well technically no, I have little need of I suppose, I only kept it for convention's sake.  
He could barely be heard over Sookie's slaying of the toilet, he grabbed her arm, soon there would be nothing but dust, and he loathed dust. Sookie went still, she dropped the hammer. Eric heard a tiny noise and saw red drops on the floor, she was crying. He reached for her, and Sookie felt the air behind her move and hissed. "Get the fuck away from me, _Maker!"_ Sookie snarled. Eric withdrew, leaving the door ajar. Eric was hungry, and as he could not leave her, he would have to drink that vile stuff. Hmm, I wonder how this would taste in it he thought, peering at the soy sauce. He dropped some in, it helped, some. It seemed Sookie would be mad/sad for some time to come, so he resolved to find a movie to watch.

After channel surfing he found a movie he had not seen its release in the 90's. Reservoir Dogs, it had already started, but there was still enough left to kill the time. He turned the TV low, and lay down.

When Sookie came out, Michael Madsen was cutting the cops ear off to a song Eric rather liked he had forgotten himself and was laughing quietly but hard. "This is funny to you?" "Is that what your evil blood going to do to me, make me think torture is _funny?" _He turned from the movie, his laughter stopped. "No, Sookie if you did not find this sort of thing funny when you were human, then it is doubtful you ever will, we remain what we were. We grow and change small things, gather new knowledge and interests, but the core of us remains, always."

After a moment, "Well, that's something anyway… "This sucks, so every time I cry it gonna look like I got a head wound?" "Don't answer that, she muttered. " "Look Evil One I have to go to MY house and get my stuff." Silence.

"You need to call your roommate, first." He said. "Well yeah, your right I should let her know I'm all right." He cleared his throat, "What, Eric, is there some reason in particular I HAVE to call Tara?"

"She needs to be there, when we go, to… he trailed off.

Sookie slunk down the wall, "So now my house won't let me in, huh?"

"In a word, Yes" he replied. "But it would accept you in time, if you got rid of that person you associate with. He said with ill concealed disdain. "As long as a human dwells in your home, you will feel unease….

"What kind of unease?" Sookie asked with her lips trembling.

"It is a minor discomfort, but it is there. Let's see how can I explain. He made a temple of his hands. "We are different than them Sookie in more ways than are obvious, in ways even I do not fully understand. When a human sleeps and eats in a home for an extended time, the very structure of it compels us to leave, we are not forced to of course, unless our invitation is rescinded. However the urge to leave is always there." "So humans, give houses magic?" she said.

"I don't know if I would call it magic, but I suppose some would, I haven't given much thought to the issue."

"Do you thirst, Sookie?" "

"Yes, maker now that you mention it I do have that unholy thirst, she sneered.

He went to the fridge and snagged a True Blood for her and then paused by the microwave, Sookie sighed and punched in the time. "Sookie, I am sorry for this he said as he retrieved the blood. "Are you, cause I don't see it she took a drink, looked like she was going to be sick. "We are going to have to find out which type of this stuff you can tolerate, this is O negative and clearly is not agreeing with you."

He took a paper towel and wiped the spotless counter, "Sookie, you may not see it but it is true nonetheless, but I will not lie, I am not sorry that you are not rotting in the ground, nor should you be. You may loathe this life, but you will find with time, that many of things you enjoyed as a human you enjoy still."

"So what the hell are you sorry for?" Doesn't sound like much."

"I am sorry for your pain, and that you grieve for what you perceive to have lost."

Sookie smacked the counter, "You're a shit, you know that?" "Jesus Christ, Eric, I know it been a long fucking time since you felt something beating in your chest, but don't you remember anything that you loved about being a living breathing human being?" "Don't you think you lost _anything?_"

Eric grabbed a bottle and heated it. The sound of the microwave was his reply.

Then "Sookie, there was much I loved in my other life, but when I was dying I was offered at chance to continue on and I took it." "There is little point in regret, or dwelling on what was."

"So you never looked back, you just sprang outta your grave, ready for action?" She shook her head and threw her arms up. "Not exactly, but it was something like that he said. Unbelievably Sookie started to laugh. After a moment she stopped. When she looked up Eric was smiling. "You should do that more often, she said. "What, smile?" he said smiling a little more. "Yes, but then I would not be the feared Vampire Sheriff, I have no wish to be Vampire Eric and swill this gruel, and he motioned down at the fake blood, at your lovely place of employment."

"You're a jerk."

"Yes, I am, among other things." "Was that Vampire Eric thing a crack at Bill?"

"No, it was not, that is what the humans in Bon Temps called him, how amusing, he always was a toothless tiger." He threw his head back and sorta did a miniature Tiger roar that ended with kitty cat sound. Sookie smacked him on the chest, "You are terrible, Eric Northman." "And you Miss Stackhouse are amused."

"I am not."

"I find it curious that this is the first time you have mentioned your former… what's the word? Sleeping Partner?"

"Boyfriend, is the word, you big A-hole and I kinda had a lot on my mind lately and you know being Undead and all? But I AM going to find him, will he still want to be with me, like this?" gesturing to herself.

"Undoubtly the torch Mr. Compton carries for you will burn on, never fear, that pathetic wretch has nothing else to live for that I can see anyway…..

"He does so."

"Oh really what would that be? His score on that ridiculous Wii golf game?"

"Well he's got Jessica… "Oh the one he made a vampire, who he avoids at all costs, in who he has shown nothing, taught her nothing?"

"That's, not True he showed her how to glamour!" Eric shrugged, "And did he happen to teach her not to kill when she feeds?"

Sookie's face went still. "Eric, did Jessica do something Bad?"

"Well it all in how you look at I suppose, he said as he drummed his fingers on the counter. "It certainly was against the law, but bad is debatable."

"She KILLED someone? Who?"

"Some random human, No one dear to you I'm sure."

"Eric, it doesn't matter if I knew the person or not, they were ALIVE!"

Eric shrugged "And now they are not." He replied. Sookie wrung her hands. "Is Jessica going to get in trouble, like bad trouble?"

"Had she not been meaningful to you, there would have been consequences perhaps." "As it turns out, the matter resolved itself."

"How?

"The body did a fortunate vanishing act."

"I no longer wish to talk about this matter, it is closed." Eric leaned against the fridge and looked bored.

"Shouldn't we be getting ready?"

"Oh yes, The Matter of Your Things….

"Well, make the phone call and we will proceed."

Sookie gave him a pointed look and said "You, mind?" Pointing with a finger to the other room. Eric smirked and went into the bedroom, of course he would be able to hear the conversation in its entirety from the street if he chose, but if it made her more comfortable.. He went in his room and lay down. It was quiet except for the muffled phone call, Sookie had foolishly gone to the bathroom and started the shower thinking to block him from hearing.

He thought of Sookie, her smell lingered in the air and on the bed. _"She is fierce, and strong, it is only her insistence on clinging to the mortal coil that holds her back, she may never be sort of vampire that I am or that Pam is but she could turn out to be far more interesting in her own way. I need to speak with Pam soon on the matter of Sookie, she must be made to understand, I do not like her unhappiness, though I would never tell her that._

_T_here was a knock. "Yes?

Sookie's head popped in. "Well how did she take the news?" he asked. "Umm, I didn't exactly tell her. Eric raised himself on his elbows. "And why is that?"

"Well it's not exactly easy to tell your best friend in the whole world that you are now the one thing she hates more than anything." "I see, did you happen to mention that you would like for her to be at your home when we arrive?"

"Yeah, I told her I had a rough couple of days and that I didn't want to be alone."

They drove to Bon Temps when that got near her home "These roads are inferior, maybe if these people drove betters cars they would have more concern about these miserable holes." He said.

Sookie had nothing to say to that, though she agreed they needed work.

She looked over at Eric and thought I almost like him, God what is wrong with me? And what's more she thought he looked good, he was wearing simple things jeans and T-shirt but he managed to make them elegant.

They turned onto Hummingbird road "Why are there no holes on This road?"

"Jason, had his road crew come and do the whole road for me, it was my birthday." "So your brother has some use, I suppose." "Eric that is NOT nice!"

"I am not nice Sookie." "Is that cause you're a vampire?" "No, I know many nice vampires, I am not one."

The house seemed quiet, but there were lights on. Tara opened the door and came out "Sook, that you?'

"Yeah, it me Sweetie she called back. She shut the door and went around the car, Tara came down the steps real slow, which Sookie thought was odd until she remembered Eric being there. "What the Hell is he doing here? I thought you _hated him." _  
"Yeah well, you know um I didn't exactly hate him… Eric looked interested he raised an eyebrow inquirely. "Oh, really?" he asked with a smirk, well you certainly gave a good impression of it."

Tara came closer and stomped her feet. "How could you not Hate him after he CHAINED MY CUZIN up in that basement FOR WEEKS? I thought you loved Lafayette?"

"Tara I DO Love Lafayette I swear and I did hate him at that point just not so much later.. Things happened, it made me feel different.

"What things?" Tara asked with doubtful face.

Sookie kicked a pebble and looked down "Well, he may have sorta saved my life back in Dallas and then the other day…..

"What happened the other day Sook, Oh my fucking God Sook did you drink that MAN's blood?"

"You could say that, I guess" So we should go in don't you think, Sookie asked. Tara shook her head and turned for the house. They got to the door and the only one to keep going was Tara. Tara stopped and looked back, "You coming?"

She stood in the open door waiting.  
"You need to invite us in I'm afraid. Eric said quietly.

"Us? What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Sookie is no longer human." Shocked silence. Sookie sat on the steps and bowed her head. "Is that true?" Tara asked her.

"Yes, it is Tara, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you on the phone, I wanted to it was just…..

"Just, what Sook, you couldn't even tell your best friend the truth, you know give her some warning? Well, come on in I'm inviting you, I guess its still your house after all." "It is indeed" Eric said with a pointed look at Tara. "I see that _Sookie's house _is still partially destroyed from the Maenad, that you brought to this house, Miss Thornton."

"That's between Sookie and me Tara snapped. "I said I was sorry, we made up."

"Sorry? Coming from you that is a child's word. I have seen your type of human before, trouble abounds wherever they go, they make the same mistake again and again AND they are always Sorry."

Sookie lifted her head, she had been at the kitchen table, thinking. "Eric that's enough."

Eric nodded "As you wish."

"Tara I need to get my stuff, that's why I came." So just cause your dead you can't live with me anymore?" Tara started to get that weird face she gets right before she cries.

"Why do I get the feeling that your more upset about me moving out then me not breathing anymore?" Sookie asked calmly with her face propped on her hand.

"I'm not dammit I'm real upset about you being dead and all, I just didn't think you'd be moving out." Eric rolled his eyes at her "And my presence didn't foreshadow this at all?"

"Shut the fuck up would you?" Tara snapped at him. Eric moved with Vamp speed and before Tara knew it he had his hand on her throat "I am not Bill Compton, Miss Thornton, you would do well to remember that and if you did not mean much to Sookie I would rip your throat out, when you speak to me you will keep a civil tongue. He gripped harder. "Is that clear?" It had all happened so fast that Sookie was too late to stop him from grabbing her, she hadn't exactly gotten the hang of the super speed yet. "ERIC Get your hands of my friend!" Eric let go, put his fangs away and managed to look causal.

Tara looked shaken but she knew that Eric wouldn't actually hurt her cause of Sookie so she said what she wanted to. "You going to be living with _THIS Thing?_

"I thought I had anger management problems, shit white people are fucking crazy" Tara went over and sat by Sookie just to be on the safe side. Eric restrained himself it had been centuries since he had wanted a human dead that he did not kill instantly. "Sookie I suggest you put Tara in her place, or I will." Eric said with deadly calm, his fangs were out.

"Tara, um could you lay off him, please?" "Yeah I guess, for you I will."

"Thank you." They still had not hugged, Eric thought that was odd in his experience human females loved to embrace upon seeing each other. Sookie rose from the table, "Well I'm gonna go get my things together, Tara you wanna help me?" Tara nodded. They went upstairs.

Eric was bored and since he had only been in her house once he looked with interest at little knickknacks and photographs. There were many of Sookie and her grandmother and Sookie's disrespectful friend featured in far too many for his taste. _I really must figure out for a way to have an accident befall Tara, it should not be too difficult. _He picked up a salt shaker that had been made to look like a fat black woman who he presumed was meant to represent a slave. He thought, Unbelievable that they still made these…savages. He shook his head and moved on.

Upstairs Sookie was in the bathroom gathering up makeup and shampoo, when she reached for her tampons out of habit she scowled. "I guess you don't need those anymore, huh." "I guess, not Sookie said putting them back. "So that's good right?" I mean what girl doesn't hate her period, so I mean I guess its not all bad."

Sookie made no comment. "Its weird you're not more upset by this Sook, I'm mean you lost your tan, For Good.

"Lord almighty Tara, can you please decide if you're going to make me feel better or worse? Just pick one" she whirled from the vanity and into her sitting room. "God, I'm sorry Sook, I just don't know how to act, I never been in this situation before." Tara sputtered. 

"Like I have?" Sookie snorted. Sookie sat on the bed and tried to feel human, she tried breathing but she didn't like it and it felt fake. This whole time she'd only felt like herself cause she hadn't thought about it, but now just being in her old room with Gran's face watching her from a picture frame, her friend she had known all her life staring at her like she was an alien, _her human friend, _it hit home for truly the first time. Here sat a broken and replaced thing that looked like Sookie Stackhouse, but all that she was was gone.

"I lost my life, Tara and I'm still dealing with that." Tara stopped looking at her like she was a bug and sat down next to her, she leaned over and embraced her, she felt different to Tara she even smelled a little off. "I know you did Sook, but you're going to find a way to still be you, I promise."

"I hope so.. I've avoided feeling this whole thing, you know, like the reality of it, but now here in my room….it feels real for the first time to me."

"What's it like, I've always been curious you know, never wanted to admit it, she said turning her head and rolling her eyes.

"I don't know I just found out a few minutes ago, Sookie said.

"Just now, I was trying to breath so I could feel human and It felt fake to Me."  
"Stuff like that I guess probably sums up where I'm at with the whole process."

"Wow, that's fucked up Sook, it feels weird to breathe?" "Yep, Sookie returned.

Downstairs the tea kettle blew open its little mouth and let out a howl, Eric stopped pacing and listened to the delightful sound for a second longer and then shut the burner off. He didn't know what had come over him, he had seen the kettle and thought of how he had never seen one used, and as there was little else to do… It reminded him of a train whistle, he had quite a lot of affection for trains, had even robbed one once, it had been a desperate time, ordinarily Eric was no thief not because he thought it wrong it was merely beneath him. He was really starting to get bored he thought What now, shall I look at Gran's silver platter collection, or attempt to hang myself with Gran's old support hose? _"This place is like a fucking shrine to that lady, I really must speak to Sookie about it, there is no need to be so sentimental. _

Eric turned as he heard them come down the stairs, he noticed with some approval that Sookie made not a sound, her friend however sounded like a graceless donkey coming down, he thought about saying so but decided against it. Their hands were full of luggage and Sookie had a big clear bag with what appeared to be Shampoo and what looked like _used soap_. Eric walked over to Sookie and touched the bag and said "This is disgusting, I will purchase these items new, I never want to see you carting around used bar soap again, Sookie it is beneath you."

"God, Eric, you can be so mellow dramatic, its perfectly good soap and I'm not gonna just go out and buy more when I already have some.

"And did this thing inclining his head to Tara, use the soap?" Before Sookie could answer Tara did a mini lunge in Eric's direction "You Racist motherfucker, you think my dark skin got Sookie's soap dirty!"

"Tara, Eric is not…. Sookie started to say.

"I assure you of all the reasons I have to abhor you Miss Thorten, your race is not one of them, I have known many worthy vampires of your race and liked a few as well."

Tara huffed and turned her head and muttered "Yeah Right."

Sookie put down the bag that had started it all, and turned and hugged Tara, with her face still pressed in Tara shoulder she said "Tara, I'm sorry I can't stay longer but its hard for me to be here right now. You understand?" Tara stepped back and looked sad, "Yeah, I do, I don't have to like it though."

They left soon after that and once back on Hummingbird road she rolled the window down and stuck her head out and tried to breath, well at least I can still smell stuff she thought.

"I found the collecting of your belongings to be a grueling affair" "Well sorry the closing up of my old life was So boring to ya Eric, I'll have to remember to keep my tragedies short in the future, it's all about your amusement and fun right?"

"Do I detect a note of sarcasm dear Sookie?" "Well, if you didn't I be wanting to check up here she said and put her hand on his forehead and then she went still. "Sookie, what is it?" She dropped her hand and looked away "Its nothing, just drive, please." Sookie had felt something odd when she touched Eric just then. Her heart which no longer beat had come to life for a moment before dying once again. It's doesn't mean a thing she thought. It doesn't! she insisted to herself.

"So where to now, my child?" "Don't call me that Eric, like ever." "Okay I won't if it displeases you, it is a minor point if you do not want to hear out loud what you are to me it is of little consequence."

"Alright, thanks."

"You are welcome." He said with a tiny smile.

"So where to now Sookie Stackhouse he asked with mock exaggeration.

"Why do you keep asking me that, don't we have to go to Fangtasia?"

"No, I have made arrangements with Pam to cover me for the night, I am weary of that place, and I thought perhaps a break was in order, unless you had a burning desire to go?"

Before Sookie could think about it she blurted out "Oh GaWd no, I Hate that place.

"That was a tad harsh Sookie." Eric said quietly but she could swear that he was a little amused. "Yeah it was, sorry. "

"I am not offended, while I enjoy the benefits of owning it, it has become tiresome to me and just now I wondered to myself "Do I hate it? And the answer to that is No, I do not."

"I may not always enjoy being there, thanks to this new world we live in he said gesturing outside the windows. "It is never the less a boon to me."

"Besides, it may not be mine for much longer, in any case."

"Why?" 

"I thought it was a _boon_ she made a face at the word boon, "to you?"

"It is indeed but there are forces working to take what is mine."

"What kind of forces?"

"It is not important, for now, though there may come a time when it becomes important."

Eric shifted into 3rd when they reached the highway. Sookie reached and turned the radio on O Mio babbio Caro filled the little space. "My Gran loved this song."

"So Gran listened to Opera?" he asked with a small smile and then " How intriguing, I never would have guessed."

"No not exactly she only ever had one album of this stuff, I know she liked that song a whole lot though." Sookie chewed her lip and then she said "I like being in cars." "I do too, Eric replied. "You do?" Sookie looked surprised as she asked. "Yes, it's one of the rare times in my life to think while I perform a simple task that I enjoy, and I am usually alone when I drive."

"Doesn't Pam usually ride with ya?" "No, Pam has many vehicles of her own, we are rarely in the same car."

"Huh, Sookie whispered under her breath. "_So you like Opera, how very intriguing, I never would have guessed it. _She said this all in a bad impression of Eric. Eric laughed and then said "Are you mocking me, Sookie?"

Sookie laughed but did not reply. After a minute "But, seriously you like Opera?"

"Yes, Opera has great passion, you will find as the years past that it becomes harder and harder to find things with passion, passion is something that is useful, it is like a jolt that awakens oneself. It is easy with immortality to "Oh how do humans say it?... Oh yes go on auto-pilot."

"Eternity is a long time, Sookie it is important to find things to do with yourself."

Sookie covered her face with her hands and said "Oh, GAWD don't remind me, of that Eric, Please.

"Very well, we won't speak of it anymore. He paused and then said "At, this time."

Chapter Four

Sookie decided after Eric asked her a third time where she wanted to go. She didn't tell him till they got there where they were going.

"You must be joking. This is what you chose when I give you license to direct us to a place of your choosing?" Sookie didn't answer until they were both out of the car. "Eric, it's a fun place, Really, besides I wanna see if I am any better at Ski-ball, now that you know….."

Sookie walked fast to the door, Eric did not. At the door they were greeted by what to Eric looked like grotesque bloated rat with a tiny hat on its oversized head. The nauseating smell of children was enough to mentally choke him. "Sookie, I am not certain we should be here, it feels wrong."

"Eric, there is nothing wrong with some good clean fun!" Eric reached over to run his hand on the top of an ancient gumball machine, "Clean? That, is hardly the word I would use." Eric turned to the rat thing and said "Direct me to the napkins

Rat he said with a funny look of disgust. "Okie dokey Sir the napkins are over here, here I'll show you." That will not be necessary without a word of thanks Eric stalked over to them. Sookie looked at what she now thought of as a rat and said " I'm am so sorry, he's never been here before." Just then kids were coming and the rat was doing his thing dancing and joking with the children when Eric got back.

"Eric, you were rude to that man." "What man, I saw no man, just a grotesque mockery of a rodent."

"Eric, there is a person in there, With Feelings."

"And?" Eric said as he smirked.

Sookie threw her hands up and walked toward the Ski-ball machines. There was only one open between a little boy and an old lady. Sookie then realized that she'd forgotten about the dang tokens she needed, she turned to find Eric and found herself staring into a pair of blue eyes she used to think of as cold, she paused as she thought that and then she thought Well I will just have to think about that later.

"Eric don't sneak up on me!" "I hardly _sneaked_ up on you Sookie I am a vampire and the floor is carpeted." "I'm gonna go get some tokens so we can play this" she said pointing to the ski-ball machine. "I can't wait" Eric returned dryly.

"What you going to do, stay here?" Eric looked around and shuddered and said "No, I will accompany you."

As they walked through the throng Eric asked "Will this ticket person be posing as some form of rodent?" Sookie could swear she felt Eric tense next to her, she just barely stopped herself from laughing. "I don't think so, they didn't used to make em wear costumes, but who knows, its been a long time since I been here." Sookie had thrown that last bit in for fun, she was pretty sure that they'd never make the ticket person wear a goofy costume those fabric hands were big and probably only good for picking up big stuff.

"Hi, we'll take 20$ worth of tokens, please." Sookie reached for her purse, Eric put his large hand over the zipper and shook his head. "Eric, I can pay for myself thank you very much." "I am aware of your self-sufficiency Sookie in fact I am pleased by it, however… Sookie stomped her foot, "Eric, I will not be a kept woman." Eric was quiet for a moment and then removed his hand. "You surprise me Sookie, most women love for the man to pay."

"Yeah well I never was normal she muttered as she unzipped her purse. They got the tokens and made their way back to the object of Sookie desire for fun.

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray you'll never know dear….. . " _

" Oh I love this song, Sookie actually did a little jump and clapped her hands together. Eric thought to himself "How ironic that is exactly NOT how I feel about this loathsome little diddy." He did not say it for reasons unknown to him it made him uncomfortable Eric Northman _always_ knows the reasons for all that he does, except when it came to the new vampire next to him, it seemed. Sookie was making her way to the source of Hell/Joy and Eric unhappily followed after.

"What is that?" He asked pointing with an air of horror. "That's Munchie the purple pizza eater" Sookie answered distractedly. Munchie was trying to give an impression of eating pizza with one hand and playing bass with the other.

"This Munchie is certainly ambidextrous, isn't he?" Sookie laughed. She was glad he was taking this so well, maybe he getting used to it she thought.

Little did she know that Eric was in the grips of moderate amount of horror, he had faced death, seen unimaginable horrors yet nothing had made him as uneasy as these obscene animal based mutants.

"Eric, Eric?" He turned from his private toiling "Yes Sookie?" "Eric I've been trying to get your attention. The song is over, and for some weird reason this place is making me sad, I wanna go." Eric of course did not argue.

Once they were as far from That Chucky place as it took for him to feel safe in saying " Sookie, not that I am not pleased to no longer be there, I am confused as to your change in mood."

"I don't want to talk about it, right now. "So what'd think of my childhood hideaway?" Silence. "It was unpleasant for me." "Something about those goofy animal costumes really freaked you out, huh?" "No, nothing ever freaks me out and I dislike that word." "Ohh showing a little fang I see, did I hit a nerve?" "Sookie, I rarely command Pam as her maker and I had not planned to use this so soon but _I command you as your maker, to stop talking about those things this instant." _Sookie sat stunned "I can't believe you just did that Eric."

"Believe it" he said. "Or what you gonna command me to?" Sookie snarked. "No, Sookie for the most part when I pull the maker card it will be for serious reasons, not trivial."

"So which one was this last one for?" "Trivial I suppose, but it would have happened sooner or later." He said with a shrug. Sookie was quiet and Eric was surprised at her silence, but thankful for it. They arrived at their home soon after, as soon as Eric opened the door Sookie for the first time used Vampire speed to get to the bedroom door she didn't appear to notice and opened the door normally and went in.

Eric sat on the couch he did not turn on the phony companion in front of him, with over 900 channels filled with the work of mindless breathers, some days he tolerated it and there were days he even enjoyed it, but now the emptiness of it would feel wrong, he did not know why this should be so…but it was.

FLASHBACK

A certain night on a rooftop threatened to overcome him, he tried to push it out with his hands on the sides of his head, it came. And because he was a vampire every word, every gust of wind and even things he did not recall hearing like distant cars on the street beneath their feet, and the murmuring of people in their rooms below were recalled in vivid detail. He was there again. Godric had just commanded him to leave after he had offered to die with his Maker, when he turned he saw Sookie and even in his state he felt a ripple of shock and something else something foreign to him. He had heard someone approach of course, but he had been so intent on Godric that he had not cared to look. She said nothing as he came toward her and when he paused for a moment to look down at her she reached for his hand "I'll stay with him as long as it takes." Sookie said softly. Eric nodded and descended slowly. His mind was both torn and numb, he had never felt this way, he did not use the speed he could have to get to his room he went slowly like a human as he remembered the man who had saved him from _being _human. He had to use the annoying card to get in, closing the door he sighed. He was tempted to call his day man Bobby and request that some illegal substance be brought with sterile syringes, after a moment he decided that Why the hell shouldn't I?, I am a 1000 years old and I have never tried it and its been around for many decades now….. He fished the phone out, and found that Bobby had called while he was talking with that bitch Nan Flanagan. "Hello, Mr. Northman?" "Bobby you have call ID do you not?" Well, yes sir why'd ask?"

"Moving on, Bobby I need to obtain some illegal drugs, something strong and narcotic, heroin to be precise and I know that you have contacts in the Dallas area and know that some of them have illegal dealings "Uh, Mr. Northman I'm not sure I can do that….

"Nonsense Bobby, I know very well that what I am requesting of you is well within the range of your capabilities, or I would not ordered you to do it." There was silence on the other end except for the sound of Bobby chewing gum.

"How much, what kind?" "What kinds are there?" And what is the best? I warn you that I will find out quickly if you misled me I suggest you answer honestly."

"Well I'm no expert of course by some people I know seem to prefer the powdered kind, and the general consensus is that the white kind is the best… I may know where to get some of that stuff." "Can you get it or not" Eric demanded . After a beat Bobby said "Yeah, I could get if they are not out…

"Let me be clear Mr. Burnham this in now your sole reason for living if you do have it for me within the hour you will die, no matter how useful you have been to me in the past. My room number is 607 tell the dealer to call the room first". With that he hung up. He was surprised at himself, he had never expected this, debauchery he smirked at the word he had engaged in things that would make the world greatest whore blush and never used that word to describe any of it. Yet this he found oddly sinful.

Later the phone began to ring.. Eric reached over "Yes?" he said into the phone. "I'm here to give you your massage Mr. Northman."

Eric started to say he didn't order one and then he caught on. "Come to the door." He hung up and felt nervous. He had not done drugs since being human, and that besides mead of course had been those strange mushrooms that had grown far from his home and had been gathered by men instead of the usual gatherer's for things women, because they believed that the mushroom was sacred to the gods and they believed the God's would grow angry if they allowed women to pick them. That was long ago though and this person was coming here any moment Eric told himself. A knock started on the door Eric walked normally to answer it. "Come, in." Eric said. The man was short and thin like a woman but his face was surprisingly honest Eric thought.

The man walked toward the table in the corner as he went he said quietly "Name's Hammish, and you are Eric Northman I presume?" "Indeed" Eric said as he closed the door. Hammis began taking things out of his pocket which as it turned out must have been considerably large.

"Bobby said he forgot to ask you how much you wanted, he thought this would be enough." He gently laid a large bag of white powder down, "Well this is an ounce and I've never known _anyone_ that could do that much in one night, human or vampire."

"I assume I owe you nothing?" "That's right Bobby told me to tell you he took it outta the expense account." "Fine, Eric nodded." "Don't I need something to cook it in?" Yes, Sir, its right here". He picked up a small silver cylinder. "You drop the dope in here add a touch of water in it mix it up real good and put the lighter below it. "You know how to inject it?" He asked. "Yes I have seen that part done." "Leave." He said. Hammis nodded and did not look offended and with that he left.

Eric sat in front of the drug and thought for a long moment about throwing it out

And then shrugged and thought "It is not as if it can kill me, what Heartbeat will it stop?" He took the small aluminum spoon that Hammish had left and after he had opened the bag he took copious amounts out with it. He tore open the bag of syringes, uncapping one, he went to the mini-fridge and took a out a bottle of water, he had no idea if tap water would make a difference but the thought of millions of barely cleaned human excrement going through his veins disgusted him.

He had a little trouble, injecting it, as he did not breathe a lot his blood was sluggish and his veins flat, but he got it soon enough. Immediately Eric felt a bliss unlike any he had felt before. He rose from the table and lay down on the bed, just then he heard a knock on his door, when he got there was no one there only a small white shirt neatly folded. He picked it up he would have known even without the scent that is was Godric's. For the first time since it happened on the roof (Eric could still not bring himself to think about it.) Eric cried, and lest the shirt get stained he went back to the table and laid it down and then put his chair a little ways away from it and stared at it "Why of all the things you have overcome, could you not overcome this?" He asked the shirt and the air.

He heard rain hitting the thick sun deterrents placed in the windows, he realized with indifference that he still felt really good and he now hated it. In his mind's eyes the shirt rose from the table the neck and arms puffing out, until Godric stood before him, the Godric thing walked over to the table and picked up the drug and said with a sad expression "Drugs are for humans, Eric they were never intended for us. Humans take drugs out of boredom and to run from death, what reason do we have for this poison, when we _ARE_ death?"

Eric wondered if he had ever tried what he was holding, and then thought that he probably had at some point. "I had a lover in the 40's who died from this very drug," Godric said as he sat at the little table. "I didn't know, Eric said quietly. "He was an artist and he was on the verge of making a living at it when he passed."

"Moving on, the matter of some deceased lover that I may or may not have had is not why your mind has summoned me here for you." "Why are you here, Eric asked with his head bowed and blood trailing down his cheeks.  
"I am not here nor anywhere else, I am dust and dust has no mouth, no hands to hold you, you are imagining me here I would imagine to finish the conversation we started on the roof.

"That is not what I want to do at all" Eric replied. "We said all that we had time to say and now you are gone."

"So do you wish for me to dissolve into you again?" "No, not yet, I just want to look at you." Eric said, he stood and headed for the table, Godric moved to block him. "Get out of the way, he growled. "Eric, this is not the way, I raised you to face things head on, to feel things as they are, not mask them with Godric turned and picked the powder up "this."

"I want to feel different right now, Eric fell to his knees his head resting against the air that his mind insisted was occupied by Godric. "Eric remember what I told you long ago A vampire is never at the mercy of his emotions, he dominates them."

"But you didn't believe that anymore did you? It is just that you were so changed from when you said that….

"I stopped practicing that advice, and when I did the will to live left me."

Quiet in the room except for the rain and air-conditioner. "Were you telling me to feel nothing?"

"No, I wasn't. You can not go through eternity with no feelings if you do then you truly are a dead thing. But what you do feel, no matter how great the pain, love, anger you tether them, you tame them, till those feelings are merely apart of you, embrace them and become their master."

"When did you stop caring for me?" Eric asked he was now sitting on floor with his back to the bed.

"Is that what you think, Eric? If that were true I would have been glad to have you die at my side as you wished." Eric said nothing to that, he had stopped crying and the blood was drying and flaking. 

"Did it help having Sookie there with you?"

"It was not something that I needed help with Eric. But she a comfort I suppose."

Godric crouched down in front of Eric "You want her do you not?"

"I don't know." "Yes, you do Eric, so what do you intend to do about it?"

"I tricked her into ingesting some of my blood." "How intriguing" Godric whispered as he rose to lean against the wall. "I can't even remember the last time you did that." "Do you intend to taste her in turn? Complete the bond?"

"Part of me wants to, and I don't know why." Eric went to the bathroom and washed his face. Through the open door Godric stood "Oh, yes now I remember it was a peasant girl, who fought like a man, didn't she run off to fight in the crusades? Ah yes that's right, that what we were doing there in that God-forsaken country, looking for…. What was her name again?"

Eric turned the water off, he did not dry his face, the droplets of water felt fresh. "Emmeline." Eric said. He moved past the breeze of his maker, "her name was Emmeline, and she wasn't the reason we were in the Crusades, don't be absurd."

Godric laughed and it was so like him that Eric felt chills run through him. "Come now, Eric, we both know that is a lie." "When you came to me the night she left, you said nothing of her and spoke only of gold and treasure and the great battles we would win, but I saw nothing of gold or blood in your eyes, only sadness and longing. You didn't think I knew about her did you?"

"No." Eric replied his face had dried and Eric lay down on the bed. "I believed you knew nothing of her."

"I followed you a few times when I noticed that you started leaving the same time each night. I was curious."

"I watched once when you were not there, I had gone there thinking to find you, instead I had seen her."

Eric sat up with interest "What was she doing?" "She was training with a broad sword. She was good even without proper training, she was fierce, I thought she would make a good vampire, I almost turned her right there."

"WHAT?" Godric turned from looking at the boring painting on the wall, "Yes, but at the last moment I changed my mind it was not my place to do so, it was yours. Surely you considered it yourself?" "Yes, I did once." Eric bounced his head lightly on the wall. "We searched for her for five years all in the guise of booty taking and battles you fought during those years were boring to you, I could feel it, always your eyes searching each face before you cut them down." Godric said.

Eric got up and went over to the table this time Godric did not stop him. He picked the powder up and took it to the bathroom where he dumped it all in the toilet. "Goodbye Godric he whispered as the powder dissolved. When he turned Godric was gone.

FLASHBACK OVER

CHAPTER FIVE

Eric roused himself from his memory and stared blindly at the dark TV. This place is not secure enough, it was and now it is not he thought. Now there is Sookie to consider, it is my duty to see to her continued existence. He laid back and tried to think of nothing.

Besides they would need a larger place, Sookie would want her own room. And because he could not help himself he went in and sat on the side of the bed and looked down on her, amazing that she fallen to sleep so angry. She goes to ground early he thought and it is just as it should be, he himself went to bed only when the shield of night was entirely gone.

"She was so delicate, like spun glass when I first so her, now she is this, his hand moved toward her and stopped just short of her face, the face that was unlike any before, but then he thought that could be said of any human, weren't they always going on about how every human is different and special like snowflakes? Ridiculous, they may all look different but the core of them is generally ubiquitous he thought with a smirk, there were exceptions, one was laying just beneath his hand. His hand started to tremble when it got close to her cheek and then it descended to her face almost unwilling, his hand was so large he could have covered her whole face with one alone.

"Why didn't I let you die, he whispered. "It would have been easier for me If I had."

Sookie stirred and looked as if she would wake, and Eric moved as fast as he could into the living room, it would not do for her to wake and find him there beside her awake, watching her, it would seem strange to her or God forbid she would read something into it.

Eric went to sleep on the couch he did not think Sookie would welcome his presence at the moment.

59


End file.
